Have you and your toxic ex – restrictive dieting that is – broken up for good?
Or are you still having an on-again, off-again fling from time to time?
As an Intuitive Eating dietitian, I’ve seen this pattern again and again with my clients. And no wonder: diet culture is so sneaky! If you’re new around here, I’m Kelly, a registered dietitian helping women to claim true health, not chase a number on the scale.
Easier said than done.
Why? The sneaky nature of the diet mentality can keep us stuck long after we accept that diets don’t work. Noticing and rejecting these elements will help us achieve food freedom once and for all.
Let’s dive in with a quick overview of what Intuitive Eating is, and then we can dive into the main topic of this blog post: how to kick diet culture to the curb (for good!).
What is Intuitive Eating?
One of the core tenets of Intuitive Eating is Reject the Diet Mentality. This includes counting calories, hyper-fixating on the bathroom scale number, restricting calories or whole food groups, or taking wonky supplements and tonics that are more likely to do harm than magically induce weight loss.
This process involves acknowledging the harms of dieting – negative physical and mental effects and the fact that most dieters regain lost weight within 3 to 5 years are at the top of the list.
The first step towards becoming an intuitive eater is to reflect on how the diet mentality is still present in your life and to break up with dieting, so to speak.
For more info: check out my article, What Is Intuitive Eating?
The Harms of the Diet Mentality
When I work with a new client, one of the first things we do is examine how the diet mentality might still be showing up in their lives.
Even clients who have been practicing Intuitive Eating on their own are shocked to see how much they are clinging to sneaky little elements of the diet mentality. And the most frustrating part: It keeps them stuck in the limbo between diet culture and the real freedom of Intuitive Eating.
If this is you, I want you to know that you are not alone! It’s incredibly common!
I completely understand why this happens: most people feel pretty relaxed about certain elements of Intuitive Eating, like focusing on hunger, fullness, or satisfaction from food, but this can turn into what I call the “eat only when you’re hungry and stop when you’re pleasantly full” diet.
This approach can feel safe at first, but I can confidently say that holding on to a few select principles will prevent you from making peace with food, which is likely one of your top goals.
How much are you still stuck in the diet mentality?
To help you see where the diet mentality is rearing its ugly head, reflect on how many of the following statements are true for you today.
Answering “yes” to these statements indicates areas where you are holding on to the diet mentality.
- I am weighing myself periodically. (This can be anywhere from daily to monthly.)
- I am using non-scale ways to check my body, like a tape measure, trying on clothing, or measuring my body fat.
- If I get hungry within 1-2 hours of eating, I try to distract myself so I don’t eat until the next scheduled meal or snack time.
- I second-guess my hunger signals, drinking a glass of water if I’m unexpectedly hungry.
- If I binge on a food (or eat it until I’m uncomfortably full), I vow not to eat that food again for a while.
- I don’t keep my “forbidden foods” in the house, or if I buy them, I only buy single-serving containers.
- I use non-diagnosed health reasons to avoid eating a food group or food I’m afraid I’ll eat past fullness. (e.g., skipping gluten without actually having celiac or a gluten intolerance.)
- I eat lower-calorie versions of foods even though I don’t like the taste as much as the original food. (e.g., a protein bar instead of a favorite chocolate bar, fat-free cheese instead of cheese, or a Halo top instead of your favorite ice cream)
- I binge on diet foods. (“I can eat as much of these paleo cookies as I want because they’re ‘healthy.”)
- I avoid social situations that involve food.
- I research nutrition information to plan what I’ll order before I go to a restaurant.
- I allow myself to eat all foods, but I only eat them when I’m alone.
- I allow myself to eat all foods, but I feel guilty when I’m doing it.
- If I can’t exercise for a few days, I get overly anxious.
- I exercise when I’m ill, injured, or exhausted.
- I wear clothing that is too tight, or that pinches me.
- I use exercise to compensate for eating more than I want.
So, if you discovered ways that diet culture is sneaking in, don’t worry: I have solutions for you!
How to Break Free from the Diet Mentality
Breaking free from the diet mentality is not easy, but I promise you that it’s the step you need to finally get to a place of freedom and joy around food.
Here’s how I recommend you start to break free from the diet mentality so you can progress towards becoming an intuitive eater.
- Use the list above and note all the ways you are still stuck in the diet mentality. Some people may have answered “yes” to every statement above, and that’s okay! You can still get to a place of freedom – this is a journey.
- Pick ONE behavior from this list to focus on this week. I recommend that you start with one that feels easiest. Why? This will help you gain momentum in this process.
- Create a goal that is specific to help you stop engaging in this behavior. Committing to when you’ll experiment with this goal, exactly what you’ll do, where you’ll do it, etc., increases the likelihood that you’ll actually follow through with your planned goals.
Some goals might take a week or two, and some might take longer. My advice is to start small, set a goal for the week, and reassess before you start a new week.
Here are a couple of examples:
Let’s say you are currently eating treat foods alone at night. (This is so common, BTW!) One key to making peace with food once and for all is reducing the shame around a food. Shame LOVES secrecy, so eating alone at night is keeping you stuck in that negative shame spiral.
I love to encourage my clients to shed some light ☀️on their eating experiences because it has such incredible results. The light both refers to eating this food out in the light of day without hiding and working to challenge any negative or “dark” thoughts you might have when eating certain foods.
Here are some goals you might set around this behavior. In this example, I’ll use ice cream as the “treat food” since it’s so common for my clients to have a complex relationship with it…
- Goal #1: On Saturday, I will go to Baskin Robbins after lunch and buy and eat an ice cream cone. I will eat it in the store or at the nearby park. (with or without a companion)
- Goal #2: On Tuesday and Thursday (maybe these are your work-from-home days), I will serve myself a large scoop of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream in my blue and yellow bowl, and I will eat it in the sunroom with my favorite song on the radio.
Why do these examples work?
In the goals suggested above, I’ve used a goal-setting method called SMART goals. The beauty of SMART goals is that they cause us to stop and reflect on our planned actions.
Each letter in SMART stands for an element you’ll use in setting your goal.
S = Specific. Make a goal specific by answering the 5 Ws. Who, What, When, Where & Why.
M – Measurable. A measurable goal is one that you can clearly determine whether or not you met.
A = Achievable. An achievable goal is one that I’m capable of accomplishing.
R = Realistic. Can this goal fit into your life?
T = Timely. Schedule a time (and put it on your calendar)!
Using the SMART goal framework makes it more likely that we will actually accomplish our goals. And when we achieve our goals, our success causes us to keep going!
Tips and Tricks for Challenging Situations
I know I might make it seem easy peasy with my examples above, but the truth is, ditching the diet mentality is tough. Here are some of my tips and tricks to help you make the progress you want.
1. Picking one behavior at a time is the key to making progress.
It’s human nature to try to do it all now! But trust me, be patient – you’ll make more progress with fewer setbacks if you work on one thing at a time. Slow and steady wins the race!
2. Get family support.
It’s common to need some support. Letting go of the diet mentality is hard, and sometimes, you need another person to help you make this leap of faith.
Asking for help makes us vulnerable, and it can make all the difference as we work to break free from the unhealthy diet mentality.
Do you have a spouse, partner, sibling, or trusted friend who could help you overcome one of these behaviors?
Here are some ways my clients have enlisted the help of a support person:
- Your sister takes your scale to her house, or helps support you as you give it away..
- Your friend accompanies you to get ice cream.
- You go to the movies with friends and share popcorn.
- Your partner does some light stretching with you to help you avoid exercising every day.
Even when my clients have me for support, I help them find others in their lives to act as additional support.
3. Get professional support.
Even with family support and your own good intentions, diet culture can keep its claws in you. It is hard to break free, but with professional support from a dietitian – that’s me! You can make more progress with less heartache.
Are you curious about what it’s really like to work with a non-diet dietitian?
Key takeaways
It’s incredibly common for the diet mentality to persist, even after you’ve officially quit dieting. Unfortunately, this is one of the biggest reasons I see people get stuck as they work towards peace and neutrality around food.
The good news is that awareness is the first step towards kicking the diet mentality to the curb once and for all!
Once you’ve discovered where you’re stuck, you can work to reduce the behaviors that are keeping you stuck.
However, for many people, several of these behaviors are very hard to overcome on their own. It’s so common, and there’s no shame in that! Having the support and accountability of a professional (like me) can make all the difference.
In fact, many of my clients start working with me after doing their own Intuitive Eating work. They’ve made great progress but feel stuck.
“Before we started working together, I felt a lot of confusion around eating. I couldn’t really tell when I was hungry or not, … and I felt addicted to and controlled by sugar cravings. Even if you think you’ve got a pretty good handle on intuitive eating, talking about it one-on-one with a real person really cements the ideas and convinces you that this is real and this works! This process helped me actually change my internal dialogue.” –C.L. – former client
Want to see what it’s like to have the support and guidance of a professional? Schedule your 20-minute complimentary Take Action Call with me today. This is a no-pressure way for us to see if we’d be a good fit.
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