We have several big holidays right around the corner.
Does the idea of gatherings with family and friends, work parties, and happy hours make you feel anxious? Don’t worry. I can help with that!
As a fellow ex-dieter, I can relate to how a restrictive diet can make you feel like you’re in control…even if missing your favorite foods was a drag. However, the idea that you are allowed to eat anything and everything might make you feel nervous…are you going to overeat?
As an Intuitive Eating dietitian, I’m here to empower you to better understand why your favorite holiday foods might feel especially triggering – knowledge is power – and also to arm you with strategies to feel calm and confident.
You can make peace with holiday food! Read on to learn how.
Intuitive Eating 101
One of the most important concepts of Intuitive Eating is the unconditional permission to eat all foods. By allowing and giving ourselves full permission to eat all foods, we can finally eat without guilt or shame.
Read my article 5 Steps to Make Peace with Food – Principle 3 of Intuitive Eating for in-depth information on this important principle.
Making peace with food is one of the first steps toward becoming an intuitive eater. It is hard work, but it is truly liberating.
As we gear up for the holiday season, I’ve been noticing something with my clients: Even after working on making peace with food, special holiday foods can present a unique challenge.
Why Do I Still Feel Fearful of Holiday Foods?
Holiday foods have the power to derail even the most seasoned, intuitive eater.
I’m sure you can relate.
You travel to your holiday family dinner, perhaps sitting in traffic. The holiday spread is full of your favorites, but Grandma’s special pie feels like kryptonite. Even though you’re full, you have a large slice. You enjoy every bite, but you feel too full afterward – even a bit sick – as you wait for your stomach pain to subside.
Even if you feel like your Intuitive Eating skills are fairly developed, you might still find yourself in this situation.
Scarcity + Holiday Stress = A Painfully Full Stomach
I believe there are two main reasons why we may feel uncomfortably out of control around our favorite holiday foods.
- Scarcity
- Added stress of the holidays
Scarcity
Some holiday foods are so rare that we feel compelled to eat them, even when our body screams, “You’re so full!” This is normal, and people of every weight have this experience, I promise!
When we are deprived of a food – whether by a restrictive diet, financial scarcity, or because we only eat a food once a year, we can feel compelled to eat it, even when we are physically full.
Holiday Stress
This next reason is a bit more complex but stay with me.
During the holiday season, most people have increased demands, and therefore, less time for the most basic self-care. You know – the good night’s sleep, the mental health walks, meditating, staying hydrated? The necessities that often fall to the wayside when life gets really demanding.
Can you relate?
It’s common to have increased social events, gift shopping, and cooking for a crowd. This often results in haphazard or inadequate meals, skimping on sleep and skipping hobbies.
This alone would be enough to affect the way we eat our favorite foods.
But, then we add in tricky family dynamics and travel, and we might not be in the place to make decisions that help us feel good. Even though we might have a healthier relationship with our eating and a more kind body image, Aunt Sally’s diet talk and your mom’s body checking might feel just as triggering as they always have.
A quick note: This is all very common, and you are not “bad” if you find yourself in this position. I’ve definitely been there myself!
But, if you’re at a place in your intuitive eating journey where you are ready to move past the holiday stomachache, here are some ideas for you.
7 Steps to Make Peace with Holiday Foods
My suggestions for improving your experience around holiday foods are rooted in addressing the causes above.
Reduce the scarcity.
Just like when I guide someone through the process of making peace with everyday foods, this solution involves eating the particular food more often. I know that sometimes getting access to these special foods might be tricky but some of my favorite ideas are:
- Get the recipe and make this food for yourself a few times a year.
- Find an adequate substitute you can buy and enjoy in the comfort of your own home.
- Use my Make Peace with Food Workbook as you eat this food so you can actively work towards unconditional permission.
Eat regular meals.
There’s something I see so frequently around the holidays: Skipping meals. It might seem logical to skip meals to save room for a bigger holiday meal, but in my experience, skipping meals just makes us over-hungry, grumpy, and not feeling physically well later because skipping meals feeds into that scarcity I talked about above.
My advice is to eat regular meals, even on holidays. Of course, there’s always room for flexibility. If your family has their large holiday meal at 3 or 4 pm, perhaps you could have a snack at noon.
Prioritize sleep.
The added commitments and increased stress of the holiday season commonly affect our sleep habits. Whether it’s a few extra cocktails that reduce restful sleep or worrying about your to-do list, inadequate sleep can interrupt our hunger hormones and have us snacking on the go instead of eating regular meals. This often results in us feeling “off” and using sugar and caffeine to get us through the day.
One or two days of this is no big deal, but if it becomes the norm for the holiday season, you’ll probably feel grumpy and drained.
Keeping a regular sleep schedule, avoiding screens one hour before bed, and avoiding eating for 2 hours before bed (because it’s hard to sleep with a full stomach) can optimize your rest and help you thrive during the holiday season.
Set aside 5-15 minutes just for you every day.
Taking time for yourself is not a luxury; it’s a necessity! I’ll be the first to admit that my “me time” tends to decline around the holidays. Planning additional family meals, packing, and unpacking (and all that laundry!) definitely shrinks the amount of time we have for ourselves.
But one thing is certain: when we don’t take any time for self-nurturance, it negatively affects our experience with food. When we don’t take the time to sit and eat, stretch, or meditate for 5 minutes, we get so depleted that we usually find ourselves standing and eating at the counter and eating past fullness.
Now, there is absolutely nothing morally wrong with this behavior, and we usually don’t feel our best when we are doing it!
So, when your time demands are greater, see where you can plan to make things easier, so you have the time to take care of yourself and your body. Some of my favorite ideas are planning to order take-out on busy days or planning a super-simple dinner like sandwiches or a salad kit with a frozen pizza. Let go of perfection to buy some time for sitting down and relaxing. Trust me! It will make a difference.
Have a plan for dealing with food and body-obsessed relatives.
The holidays can be full of fun, catching up with family members, and embracing traditions, new and old. But, one big downside may be dealing with relatives who love to talk about their diets, comment on body sizes or weight, or comment about what’s on your plate.
Having a strategy beforehand can make all the difference between a fun gathering and one that leaves you feeling down in the dumps.
There can be several ways to deal with this, depending on your personality and relationship with a particular person. For those who don’t want to deal with confrontation, leaving the conversation is a great way to protect yourself. Others might want to set a boundary directly, kindly stating that comments about food and bodies are off-limits at the holiday table. For a more in-depth discussion and specific examples, check out my article, 3 Strategies to Squash Unwanted Diet Talk.
Destress with gentle movement, journaling, meditation, etc.
Finding a stress-reducing technique that works for you is another great way to weather the holiday season and feel great. When our bodies are in a state of fight or flight (aka stress), we tend to eat quickly and don’t digest our food as well. Stress-reducing techniques can optimize digestion and help us feel better physically when we eat.
If you already have a practice, find a way to keep it up over the holiday season.
If you still haven’t found something that works for you, why not experiment with a few options? Some of my favorite activities that also help with stress are yoga, walking in nature, journaling, knitting, and meditation.
Wear comfortable clothing that you feel good in.
Being kind to your body during the holiday season can really help you to feel at home in your body; plus there’s often an added benefit: This practice commonly helps you to eat in a way that is physically and emotionally satisfying. When you think about it, it’s not really kind to eat a food until you feel ill. (Not that there’s anything wrong with it, and we have all been there!)
It may seem too simple, but squeezing into pants that pinch your waist affects your entire day. It serves as a constant reminder that you aren’t comfortable, which makes you tune out from your body’s sensations. The result is that you aren’t tuned into your body’s hunger and fullness sensations, and your eating might be chaotic.
My advice: There is no need to squeeze into an uncomfortable pair of pants – get cozy and enjoy your day!
Remember, it’s not going to be perfect.
Striving for a goal of eating perfectly during the holidays (or throughout the year, for that matter) is an unhelpful endeavor.
We all occasionally eat until we are too full at times. Yes, even the most attuned intuitive eaters!
Key takeaways
Holiday foods can be more tricky to eat with peace and without guilt. The fact that we rarely eat these beloved foods, plus the stress and reduced self-care of the holiday season, are big factors.
You can make peace with your favorite holiday foods and enjoy them without guilt or shame – or a stomachache!
If you have a history of spending the last 6 weeks of every year feeling drained physically and mentally, I invite you to try something new. Embarking on an intuitive eating journey can help you enjoy the food, family, and friends of the holiday season without the guilt and shame.
Are you curious to know what your Intuitive Eating journey might look like? Schedule your complimentary Take Action Call with me. We can discuss your unique struggles and make a plan to be able to enjoy your holidays free of food guilt.
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